Bonwegmeg is a god.

He takes the form of a small, selfish porpoise.

Bonwegmeg created water two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bonwegmeg, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Bonwegmeg, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Bonwegmeg's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Bonwegmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat parsnips.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never think about eukaryotes.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never go into gray rooms.