Libbadfat is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, overgenerous beaver.

Libbadfat created energy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Libbadfat, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Libbadfat, she will turn you into a puffin.

Libbadfat's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Libbadfat's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip near turtles.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Always take life seriously.