Ragsafspag is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, fast turtle.

Ragsafspag created energy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ragsafspag, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Ragsafspag, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Ragsafspag's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Ragsafspag's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not eat spinach.

4. Never talk about bats.

5. Never feed lots of strawberries to monkeys while wearing gray scarves.