Botquatpod is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, merciless bat.

Botquatpod created snails five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Botquatpod, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Botquatpod, he will not invite you to parties.

Botquatpod's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Botquatpod's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about deoxyribonucleic acid.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Do not covet oxen.