Cisstigapp is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, caring crane.

Cisstigapp created the universe six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cisstigapp, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Cisstigapp, he will turn you into a worm.

Cisstigapp's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Cisstigapp's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never think about solid mechanics near eagles while wearing mauve stockings and balancing three zinc spheres on your head.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.