Xuchomvig is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, annoying cat.

Xuchomvig created the Andromeda Galaxy six million years ago.

If you believe in Xuchomvig, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Xuchomvig, it will turn you into a frog.

Xuchomvig's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Xuchomvig's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. You must love Xuchomvig.

4. Always obey Xuchomvig's priests.

5. Never write about enzymes.