Jangutgess is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, awesome wyrm.

Jangutgess created energy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Jangutgess, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Jangutgess, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Jangutgess' most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Jangutgess' Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat wheat.

2. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in yellow.

3. Never feed bananas to cats while wearing black corsets.

4. Jangutgess loves rats, so they must be respected.

5. Never think about optics near great tits while wearing turquoise coats and balancing nine lead spheres on your face.