Cimkingeb is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, compassionate octopus.

Cimkingeb created viruses eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Cimkingeb, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Cimkingeb, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Cimkingeb's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Cimkingeb's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never think ill of sick ants.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Put Cimkingeb first in all things.

5. Always stare at clouds.