Boppogfub is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, self-assured dryad.

Boppogfub created the world seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Boppogfub, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Boppogfub, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Boppogfub's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Boppogfub's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Boppogfub four times a day.

2. Learn seven new languages a year.

3. Do not dye your hair brown.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never think about quantum mechanics.