Figzigpop is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, competent hippopotamus.

Figzigpop created a quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Figzigpop, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Figzigpop, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Figzigpop's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Figzigpop's Holy Commandments

1. Badgers are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Learn seven new languages a year.

4. Erect a giant orange sculpture of Figzigpop in the centre of the settlement.

5. You must pray to Figzigpop three times a day.