Vinmidkam is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, awesome faun.

Vinmidkam created the Milkyway three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vinmidkam, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Vinmidkam, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Vinmidkam's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Vinmidkam's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your hands red.

2. Run away from magenta turtles, for they are unholy.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Always help bats in need.