Neljansan is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, staggering coyote.

Neljansan created a strange quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Neljansan, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Neljansan, she will torture you forever.

Neljansan's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Neljansan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum field theory near ducks while wearing blue jumpers and balancing four nickel spheres on your legs.

2. Do not step barefoot upon turquoise earth.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never talk about thermodynamics.

5. Never feed spinach to hamsters while wearing brown trousers.