Talhomcinvog is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, awe-inspiring snail.

Talhomcinvog created the world five billion years ago.

If you believe in Talhomcinvog, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Talhomcinvog, it will be very unhappy.

Talhomcinvog's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Talhomcinvog's Holy Commandments

1. Remain bowed during prayer.

2. Always help gulls.

3. Do not kill squirrels.

4. Always treat badgers with great respect.

5. Do not consume spinach at dawn.