Pinwitfum Shavlarnrut is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, deceitful lizard.

Pinwitfum Shavlarnrut created the Black Eye Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Pinwitfum Shavlarnrut, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Pinwitfum Shavlarnrut, she will turn you into a worm.

Pinwitfum Shavlarnrut's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Pinwitfum Shavlarnrut's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not hurt otters.

4. Worship no other gods but Pinwitfum Shavlarnrut.

5. Retreat if four tapirs approach from the south.