Fumhudwit is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, amazing walrus.

Fumhudwit created dark matter seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fumhudwit, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Fumhudwit, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Fumhudwit's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Fumhudwit's Holy Commandments

1. Always help badgers.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Always look after injured horses.

5. Never speak at midday.