Tarpfigflis Jigcinzan Zeddun is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, proud mouse.

Tarpfigflis Jigcinzan Zeddun created a bottom quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tarpfigflis Jigcinzan Zeddun, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Tarpfigflis Jigcinzan Zeddun, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Tarpfigflis Jigcinzan Zeddun's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Tarpfigflis Jigcinzan Zeddun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Do not hurt pigs.

5. Run away if seven manatees approach from the north.