Tabdotcim is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, strong deer.

Tabdotcim created dark matter two billion years ago.

If you believe in Tabdotcim, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Tabdotcim, he will jump up and down on your head.

Tabdotcim's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Tabdotcim's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant fawn sculpture of Tabdotcim in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never feed peanuts to manatees while wearing yellow rings.

3. Never talk about electromagnetism.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Run away from brown dolphins, for they are unholy.