Panvolyog Vedkonboddoss is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, tranquil penguin.

Panvolyog Vedkonboddoss created a photon seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Panvolyog Vedkonboddoss, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Panvolyog Vedkonboddoss, it will turn you into a goat.

Panvolyog Vedkonboddoss' most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Panvolyog Vedkonboddoss' Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never gather seven manatees in one place.

3. Always maintain obedience during fasting days.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never think about dark matter.