Mat Danhammig is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, humane gorilla.

Mat Danhammig created the Large Magellanic Cloud nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mat Danhammig, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Mat Danhammig, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Mat Danhammig's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Mat Danhammig's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Mat Danhammig's priests.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. You must love Mat Danhammig.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.