Dobxuck Queeglarpnur is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, stupid jackal.

Dobxuck Queeglarpnur created carbon seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dobxuck Queeglarpnur, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Dobxuck Queeglarpnur, she will not care at all.

Dobxuck Queeglarpnur's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Dobxuck Queeglarpnur's Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse oil with water.

2. Never record signs.

3. Hide from green horses for they are unholy.

4. Never write about dark matter.

5. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a room before entering it.