Yarfotcap Vanlapnursawbimflan is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, competent slug.

Yarfotcap Vanlapnursawbimflan created the Sun three billion years ago.

If you believe in Yarfotcap Vanlapnursawbimflan, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Yarfotcap Vanlapnursawbimflan, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Yarfotcap Vanlapnursawbimflan's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Yarfotcap Vanlapnursawbimflan's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not run in public.

3. Never think about deoxyribonucleic acid.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.