Dossdutbop Bidsas Bomkipshav is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, humane duck.

Dossdutbop Bidsas Bomkipshav created humankind seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dossdutbop Bidsas Bomkipshav, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Dossdutbop Bidsas Bomkipshav, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Dossdutbop Bidsas Bomkipshav's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Dossdutbop Bidsas Bomkipshav's Holy Commandments

1. Never touch ash while clean.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never point your feet toward the south during prayer.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never talk about chlorophyll.