Joplargqueeg is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, fussy goblin.

Joplargqueeg created parasitic wasps three billion years ago.

If you believe in Joplargqueeg, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Joplargqueeg, he will boil you in a big pot.

Joplargqueeg's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Joplargqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never go into magenta rooms.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never jump in the presence of dolphins.