Timfadveen is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, humorless rhinoceros.

Timfadveen created time and space five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Timfadveen, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Timfadveen, he will torture you forever.

Timfadveen's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Timfadveen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear lead on your body.

2. Do not fashion sacred items from clay.

3. Do not keep seven tapirs in a large pit.

4. Do not prepare rice while wearing shorts.

5. Retreat if eight goats approach from the east.