Fumkamrandum is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, caring weasel.

Fumkamrandum created the planet Saturn three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fumkamrandum, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Fumkamrandum, it will turn you into a duck.

Fumkamrandum's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Fumkamrandum's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Always help seals.

4. Feed all hungry squirrels.

5. Pray towards the north.