Lamtigtad is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, humorless shrew.

Lamtigtad created matter five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lamtigtad, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Lamtigtad, she will curse you with boils.

Lamtigtad's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Lamtigtad's Holy Commandments

1. Erect three nickel sculptures of Lamtigtad on top of important buildings.

2. Do not wear tin on your body.

3. Never talk about dark energy near shrews while wearing magenta skirts and balancing four iron spheres on your back.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.