Garfebmutsandkin Homkamfom is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, intelligent whale.

Garfebmutsandkin Homkamfom created viruses six billion years ago.

If you believe in Garfebmutsandkin Homkamfom, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Garfebmutsandkin Homkamfom, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Garfebmutsandkin Homkamfom's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Garfebmutsandkin Homkamfom's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt sharks.

2. Never cross mountains at dusk.

3. Run away from turquoise snails, for they are unholy.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never stain your arms with brown.