Arnsadjan is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, proud goat.

Arnsadjan created a Higgs boson seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Arnsadjan, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Arnsadjan, he will turn you into a dog.

Arnsadjan's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Arnsadjan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never tolerate cries in holy places.

3. Always help voles.

4. Never think about enzymes.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.