Flowjigbenloopsinvon is a god.

He takes the form of a large, kind scorpion.

Flowjigbenloopsinvon created matter eight million years ago.

If you believe in Flowjigbenloopsinvon, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Flowjigbenloopsinvon, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Flowjigbenloopsinvon's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Flowjigbenloopsinvon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

3. Never talk about dogs.

4. Feed all hungry capybaras.

5. Do not stand on grass.