Jenpangbidquatsan is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, wise troll.

Jenpangbidquatsan created the planet Venus five million years ago.

If you believe in Jenpangbidquatsan, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Jenpangbidquatsan, he will turn you into a hamster.

Jenpangbidquatsan's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Jenpangbidquatsan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Do not fashion tools from aluminium.

3. You must pray to Jenpangbidquatsan three times a day.

4. Always face the north before speaking sacred words.

5. Always maintain obedience during holy days.