Cubjamtip is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, intelligent hamster.

Cubjamtip created a charm quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cubjamtip, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Cubjamtip, she will cry a lot.

Cubjamtip's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Cubjamtip's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never write about eukaryotes.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.