Pakloopcip Ganpantetti is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, self-assured duck.

Pakloopcip Ganpantetti created parasitic wasps two million years ago.

If you believe in Pakloopcip Ganpantetti, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Pakloopcip Ganpantetti, it will boil you in a big pot.

Pakloopcip Ganpantetti's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Pakloopcip Ganpantetti's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Always treat squirrels with great respect.