Bimfadtin is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, calm donkey.

Bimfadtin created the Small Magellanic Cloud five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bimfadtin, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bimfadtin, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Bimfadtin's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Bimfadtin's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of melons to dogs while wearing red scarves.

2. Never wear skirts.

3. Feed all hungry pigs.

4. Do not study deoxyribonucleic acid on holy days.

5. Never speak at midday.