Bonpomkap is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, emotional dugong.

Bonpomkap created the Cigar Galaxy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Bonpomkap, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Bonpomkap, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Bonpomkap's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Bonpomkap's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never touch water while unclean.

3. Never speak the names of dwarf planets aloud.

4. Do not wear boots marked with indigo.

5. Never chant while facing west.