Ligbenfub is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, egotistical grasshopper.

Ligbenfub created energy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ligbenfub, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Ligbenfub, she will turn you into a duck.

Ligbenfub's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Ligbenfub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not gather at towers at dawn.

2. Do not place grapes upon stone.

3. Never think about deoxyribonucleic acid.

4. Never fashion tools from ash.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.