Vinlantarp is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, slow gorilla.

Vinlantarp created the planet Earth six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vinlantarp, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Vinlantarp, he will turn you into a tree.

Vinlantarp's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Vinlantarp's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate great tits.

2. Erect a large iron sculpture of Vinlantarp on top of all buildings.

3. Always obey Vinlantarp's priests.

4. Never write about chromosomes.

5. Never write about planets.