Fidster is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, unjust unicorn.

Fidster created bats seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fidster, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Fidster, he will not invite you to parties.

Fidster's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Fidster's Holy Commandments

1. Always help otters in need.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate squirrels.

3. Never talk about great tits.

4. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. You must never eat aubergines.