Stragbamquill is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, idiotic newt.

Stragbamquill created a Higgs boson nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stragbamquill, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Stragbamquill, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Stragbamquill's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Stragbamquill's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Erect a large tin sculpture of Stragbamquill on top of all buildings.

3. Feed all hungry shrews.

4. Whales are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never think about cell theory.