Pidguptab is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, ruthless turtle.

Pidguptab created viruses eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pidguptab, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Pidguptab, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Pidguptab's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Pidguptab's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Always obey Pidguptab's priests.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

4. Do not keep eight birds in a large pit.

5. Do not speak about lemons.