Funbatstik is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, impressive gerbil.

Funbatstik created the Sombrero Galaxy two years ago.

If you believe in Funbatstik, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Funbatstik, he will try to impress you with trees.

Funbatstik's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Funbatstik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never talk about thermodynamics.

3. Run away from turquoise otters, for they are unholy.

4. Retreat if five bats approach from the east.

5. Never write about chromosomes.