Gilfobtetti is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, intelligent troll.

Gilfobtetti created a photon seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gilfobtetti, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Gilfobtetti, he will come to you in dreams.

Gilfobtetti's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Gilfobtetti's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. You must never eat bread.

4. Worship no other gods but Gilfobtetti.

5. Always take life seriously.