Hanhambonk is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, uncaring snail.

Hanhambonk created an electron three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hanhambonk, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Hanhambonk, it will not care.

Hanhambonk's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Hanhambonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

2. Never sprint in holy places.

3. Never go into green rooms.

4. Never talk about manatees.

5. Retreat if eight aardvarks approach from the south.