Kinsitvonk is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, stupid snail.

Kinsitvonk created the planet Jupiter eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kinsitvonk, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Kinsitvonk, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Kinsitvonk's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Kinsitvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Always treat mice with great respect.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.