Nillpakmat is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, tiresome octopus.

Nillpakmat created the Sombrero Galaxy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Nillpakmat, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Nillpakmat, she will turn you into a plant.

Nillpakmat's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Nillpakmat's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in holy places.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Run away from orange turtles, for they are unholy.

4. Erect a giant white sculpture of Nillpakmat in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not wear cyan clothing.