Lipsabxucklam is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, compassionate bird.

Lipsabxucklam created an electron four billion years ago.

If you believe in Lipsabxucklam, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Lipsabxucklam, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Lipsabxucklam's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Lipsabxucklam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Lipsabxucklam's name in vain.

2. Do not wear copper on your body.

3. Never think about quantum field theory.

4. Never look at asteroids.

5. Always make sure there are no cats in a building before entering it.