Ragquimgutarpxin is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, overgenerous cat.

Ragquimgutarpxin created dark energy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Ragquimgutarpxin, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Ragquimgutarpxin, she will turn you into a slug.

Ragquimgutarpxin's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Ragquimgutarpxin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare garlic while filled with joy.

2. Always cleanse ash with water.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Do not gather at wells at midday.

5. Never feed gooseberries to dolphins while wearing jumpers.