Fidtaphunsagdotfatcapdiss is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, vain gnu.

Fidtaphunsagdotfatcapdiss created a down quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Fidtaphunsagdotfatcapdiss, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Fidtaphunsagdotfatcapdiss, she will turn you into a puffin.

Fidtaphunsagdotfatcapdiss' most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Fidtaphunsagdotfatcapdiss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat onions.

2. Learn seven new languages a year.

3. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Fidtaphunsagdotfatcapdiss in the centre of the settlement.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Fidtaphunsagdotfatcapdiss loves doves, so they must be honoured.