Yammiffen is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, conceited squirrel.

Yammiffen created a top quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Yammiffen, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Yammiffen, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Yammiffen's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Yammiffen's Holy Commandments

1. Never handle aluminium while unclean.

2. Always make sure there are no geese in a room before entering it.

3. Do not resist order.

4. Never talk about ultrasonics near voles while wearing black shirts.

5. Do not wear yellow clothing.