Donlakbid is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, grumpy mongoose.

Donlakbid created the planet Mars three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Donlakbid, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Donlakbid, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Donlakbid's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Donlakbid's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Donlakbid's priests.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never bounce near dogs.

5. Always make sure there are no turtles in a building before entering it.