Zagfodfeb is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, passionate guinea pig.

Zagfodfeb created dark energy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Zagfodfeb, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Zagfodfeb, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Zagfodfeb's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Zagfodfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Do not gather at doors at midnight.

2. Do not wear corsets marked with brown.

3. Always count to nine before bounce.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never fashion tools from ash.