Vanbenkab is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, bad-tempered crane.

Vanbenkab created a down quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vanbenkab, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Vanbenkab, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Vanbenkab's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Vanbenkab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat beans.

2. Vanbenkab must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never think about optics near pigs while wearing fawn jumpers and balancing three platinum spheres on your neck.

5. Run away if four gulls approach from the north.