Padnuttetti is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, temperamental shrew.

Padnuttetti created the cosmos five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Padnuttetti, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Padnuttetti, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Padnuttetti's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Padnuttetti's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Always store pineapples above ground.

4. Always wear yellow.

5. Never prepare cherries during autumn.